As a parent of a child with ADHD, worry tends to become a habit. I am writing this blog to remind myself to remain calm as there is always hope and love. I also hope this blog can be of help to anyone who happens upon it, especially parents of child with ADHD, because I know that it can be such an isolating experience. Just knowing that I am not alone, you are not alone, and it is not the end of the world is a relief.
Today is my 40th birthday. For the past several years, I have been dreaming about some big plans to celebrate this monumental yet reluctant initiation into the 40s’ club, say, a safari in the African savanna. But instead, I am sitting home today, the only part that is racing is my mind and the only beasts that are running are the shadows of worry. And the worry-inducing “Mr. Lala” is not even home! He is visiting grandparents in another country during the summer break, and may I say with or without shame, hallelujah!
The worries nonetheless manifest in his little baby brother, Winston. Although Winston is only 3-montb-old, you start to think “What if Winston has ADHD like his brother? He sure looks like his older brother.” “What I am going to do if I have another child with ADHD? Hanging myself is unfortunately not an option.”
All these what ifs…and that is what really hunts the parents of kids with ADHD.
What if they fail academically? More than a possibility for kids with ADHD.
What if they are bullied? More a reality for kids with ADHD.
What if they are prone to use drugs? No scientific proof yet they do have less self control.
What if he cannot graduate from high school and get into a college? What the Tiger Mom will say about this…and imagine the compassionate smile on the face of your my-kid-is-straight-A-all-star-ivy league-bounding friend!
What if they cannot hold down a job when they grow up? You have used the image of homelessness to scare the kid long enough that it has lost all effect.
What if I am no longer here to protect him?
How could someone be truly happy with all these thoughts raging through their mind. Yet, sometimes, deep in the night, when you gaze down at the sleeping angelic creature (in sleep, ADHD has no hold), you will say “He is still a child, and no matter what, I love him. And I will love him forever.”
For parents of kids with ADHD, love may be the only weapon against the beasts of worry. And they say Love Conquers.